Road Written

-the creative quest- 

Friday Roundup: Scary Things Edition . . . Patreon, Music, a Book in a Month, Oh My!

It’s the first week on January and ohhhh goals are so hard! I didn’t even set any goals this year, it’s last year’s hangers-on that are after me.

And they should be after me, because I set them two weeks ago and immediately fell off the goal wagon. It was Christmas, there was a visitor, there was travel . . . I’m giving me a break. Kind of (stop yelling at me, brain!).

I’m back to life that isn’t mostly eating, drinking, and merrymaking, so that means remembering how to behave as a non-paid professional.

Non-paid professional—it’s like the worst game of dress-up.

(…Go on, click below…)

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Friday Roundup: Exercising Commitment Edition

Remember that time I was trying to do something on a consistent weekly basis? I lasted seven weeks, but . . .

Here I am, trying again! That’s nice, that’s good.

Every once in awhile I get this wild hair saying, “Hey Megg, you should be consistent about things sometimes!”

It’s a pretty crazy thought, I know, but I’m going to give it a go again.

A friend recently told me that he’s going “off-romance” for a year. He’s trying to clean up some emotional habits and addictions, so no dating, no innocent kisses, no porn, no masturbating.

(…Go on, click below…)

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Most Underrated Use of Friends? Crazy Prevention.

I was just messing around in the kitchen, making fun of myself for something out loud, when I thought,

“If you pretend you’re going crazy for an audience of zero, does it mean you’re maybe actually going crazy?”

Then, I thought, “that was kind of a funny thought.”

But then, I thought, “Wait . . . I actually just had that thought.”

I tell myself that the initial thought crossed my mind only as a sardonic way to make fun of myself for making fun of myself. I mean, just because I’m alone doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to make someone (me) smile.

But I did have to wonder: would I think such things if I didn’t spend 96% of my time alone?

(…Go on, click below…)

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Hey, I'm Meggan, a vagabond writer on a bumpy quest toward creative freedom. What does that mean? Where will it take us? Subscribe below and come along for the ride.

d i g  i n . . .

Don’t Expect Anything: How Wanting Something Leads to Nothing

Recently I arrived to Portland airport at 5 a.m. to attempt a standby flight to Los Angeles.

This meant showing up without a ticket and hoping there’d be an open seat due to un-booked tickets or passenger no-shows. (I have this lucky ability because a family member worked for Delta.)

Usually I know the odds of getting a seat before leaving home, but it’s still a gamble; passengers get rerouted and other mysteries transpire to fill the plane up last-minute and thus leave me stranded.

It can turn into a [first-world] nightmare of hours upon hours spent in that alternate universe that is the airport, like the day that began in Portland.

(…Read more, click below…)

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Confusing Story with Reality: Repetition, Belief, and Truth

In real life, don’t confuse story with reality.

Story can be based in reality, and reality can be based in story, but when the lines get crossed, the track leads back to you.

In the past year I’ve spent time with some who altered minor facts and details in a way that innocent bad memory didn’t explain. Harmless embellishments slowly morphed realities into fiction.

For example:

(…Read more, click below…)

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The Muse Myth: How Doth She Judge?

suitcase and forgotten or simply left behind, abandoned.
They’re recalled, at times—as the wheels cover road or the plane covers mountains—with a quick tightness in my chest. Anxiety. The sweet date, ghosted, to whom I should really send a friendly text . . . but later.
Do I punish myself for this ability to wipe the slate clean and move forward? Do I give myself a reassuring shoulder squeeze and say, “Hey, you’re doing the best you can.”
Or, do I attempt a coup d’état, force myself to stick with routines in the face of benign commotion? Is that what responsible, focused people do?

(…Read more, click below…)

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Introvert, Extrovert, or Nothing—Are You Who You Say You Are?

There are risks in believing things about yourself.

These things you believe? They might come true.

Recently I played trampoline dodgeball. Whatever you think that’s like, you’re right.

Do you remember jumping on a trampoline as a kid? How carefree? The giggle fits? It’s still like that.

The dodgeball setup is about half the size of a basketball court filled with trampoline “ponds” the size of an SUV. You jump from one trampoline to the next throughout the space as you madly attempt to avoid dodgeballs flying everywhere.

(…Read more, click below…)

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Solitude Smacks

Occasionally there are days (like this one) that fall upon me with all their weight, blind me with the reality that with only a slight shift in perception, a vaguely different set of eyes, it could be proven that my life is not one of freedom and whimsy, but of isolation and aimlessness.

Today, I’m missing the comfort of companionship, the familiarity, perhaps, of a romance.

I miss the feeling of walking up to someone who doesn’t just see me approach, but actually sees me as I approach. I want to be recognized with loving eyes.

(…Read more, click below…)

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Book Proposals, Feelings, and Anticharities

Because of romance, travel, and creative work, much of my time lately has been spent in the world of feelings (gross, I know).
It’s a subjective place full of supposed intuition, consideration for others, and self-doubt toward a creative path with no visible finish line.
But with the finish of romance, travel, and most creative work (marked by a final round of editing on my end), I’ve been dwelling more in the objective world with the business side of things.
This world includes settling in one location, preparing book agent submissions, and avoiding eye contact with men…
The absence of romance creates perhaps the biggest gulf between where feelings once presided and where rationale now holds court.

(…Read more, click below…)

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Remember, it’s Arbitrary—What Rules Rule You?

When updating my Brainfoods page recently, I saw one of my favorite quotes from Essentialism.

“The ability to choose cannot be taken away or even given away—it can only be forgotten.”

At first glance, you might think this quote references societal/cultural rules. For example, most of us grow up believing in the following requirements:

College
Job after college
Family after job
Monogamy
Retire
Hopefully travel, etc. etc….

(…Read more, click below…)

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The Essentials . . or Not. What Will You Miss?

Sometimes, when you’re not watching, the mess grows into something too large to handle.
Something has to be done.
You stand there, arms akimbo, surveying the room. What’s to stay? What’s to go?
The problem is that when things get out of hand like this, the cumulative weight of their needless existence catches in your bones, causes you to move more slowly.
Each item you pick up, take in, turn in your hands. You set it back upon the shelf, but grasp it once again before your hand can pull away.
What did it mean to you? Why is it still here?

…Read more, click below…

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Reaching a Stalemate with Creativity

Maybe this is a stalemate.
When you set out on a creative quest, you’re told it will take longer than expected. And somehow you think it won’t quite hold true for you.
For me, it’s my book (link). I figured that when I finished the first draft last October that I’d be done with the rest come Spring.
I’ve never really had to work like this, creating something that comes wholly from me.
Past jobs came easily. I cared (sometimes), just not like this. I wasn’t throwing myself on the line. They were easy, calculated risks. I would succeed, all was well.

…read more, click below…

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Recently 30, I’ve pressed the reset button on my life and begun a quest to figure out how to shape this thing called life into exactly what I want. I’m self-educating (read: fumbling blindly) to learn how to make a living as a writer and how to be my own business. I’ll be documenting my progress, blabbling about my travels along the way, interviewing cool people, and hopefully making this fun and inspiring for all of us. Join the e-mail list, come along!